Reader’s question

Hi Doc,
My name is Ruchir and I live in Mumbai. I have a unique problem. My girlfriend is very fond of foreplay and I’m more meat and potatoes kina guy. I like sex to be straight and simple, though I don’t think this works for her. I love her very much and want to pleasure her as well. Is foreplay that important for women?

Dr. Angela’s reply
Why is foreplay so important? Foreplay is just like the warm-up session before the final work out. It stimulates your partner’s mind and body and makes her more reactive and receptive to the things that you do to her. Its not just about how you make your woman feel with your kiss and touch, it is about understanding what makes her tick and doing those things to excite, arouse and prepare her for final ‘act’. Once you learn the proper techniques of foreplay, you’ll have your woman practically begging for sex!!

1. Speak up

First and foremost requisite of a good sex is a good communication between partners- it could even be in the form of role-playing or dirty talking. You need to explore your partner’s inner desires and fantasies and incorporate them in your repertoire. Sex being such a taboo in India, most couples are reluctant to talk about it. Thankfully, women are becoming more uninhibited and vocal when it comes to sharing their innermost desires. So make sure you talk frankly and openly with her about her likes and dislikes in sex.

2. Get her in mood

Create the right kind of ambiance that is conducive to seduction and will set the right mood. This means throwing in some scented candles, dimming the lights; getting some vintage wine and playing her favorite music. By doing this, you’re setting the stage that will mentally and physically prepare her for sex.

3. The sensuous massage

The best way to start the process of foreplay is to give her a sensual massage. A number of books have been written on the art of giving body massages, so you should read through them to gain the skills of an experienced masseuse. For best results, try using special aromatic massage oils which have intoxicating fragrances. Apply it to her supple skin and get started with your act! Initiate the massage her by rubbing her shoulders and neck (this works best when she’s back from the days work in office!). Then when you’ve warmed her up, you can move on to more intimate areas like her lower back, breasts, and lower upper thighs. She will generously pay you back for your effort!!

4. Kiss and tell

Next, as the massage concludes, start to kiss her in a seductive manner. Try kissing her slowly and sensuously at first then you can move on to being passionate. Once she herself becomes more fervent, start building up the intensity of your kissing. You could even lightly bite her, in that kind of an aroused state; she will want more of those. Don’t restrict yourself to lips and cheeks; explore other areas of her body like her neck, upper chest and earlobes. These are some of the most sensitive areas of a women’s anatomy.

5. Say tease

Foreplay should be fun and not finish too soon. It’s not a school boy’s homework! Try to bring your girl’s desire till she is ready to melt in your arms and then tease her by dodging the area she craves to felt at. Build up the anticipation and tension till just cant take it no more. This will heighten the anticipation and make her crave for the full round of sex and she will also enjoy it intently.

6. Get close
Eventually your foreplay and kissing will develop into sex, which is exactly what it's meant to be. In order to perfect the transition, you should not rush things. Try slowly undressing one other and exploring each other’s bodies like never before. One advanced technique is after the massage; make the transition to a wet oral sex to get things really going!

Foreplay is the key ingredient to a great sex session. If you can master this 6 step system, you’ll become an absolute master in the bedroom!