MensXpert.com - Guide to Personality Transformation.

Do you have traits that you wish you could change? Are you plagued by the feeling of being born with certain personality traits that can’t be changed? Then it’s time to re-evaluate your assumptions, because we tell you how you can change the unhealthy aspects of your personality. Negative traits may be the result of a childhood abuse, trauma or a response to a severe stress in your environment. But, if you are aware of the negative traits and the harm they cause, then you are already halfway towards ridding yourself from their deleterious effects.

Check out this list to see which of these unhealthy traits you possess and try implementing the tips to become a well- rounded personality. We’ve only listed the more common negative traits found in people. If it’s a specific problem that you want to address and that is not as common as the following, then we advise that you seek professional help.

1. Hair Trigger Temper

Are you the kind of person who is always yelling at waiters, abusing other drivers on the road and swearing at people? Are your friends constantly walking on eggshells because they are scared of setting off that notorious temper of yours? If so, try these tips.

Meditation helps calm anger and controls your mind. So begin practising meditation. This may be tough for some, but you could begin by emptying your mind of all thoughts for five minutes. Gradually build up the duration and you will find that you are able to deal with daily frustrations much better. Don’t dwell on the negative, and when you know certain things set you off, find a solution for them.

Of course, if the problem is deep rooted, it is best to go in for counselling. The professional help will help you dig to the root of the cause and eliminate it.

2. You Are a Doormat

You can never say “no”, even if what the person is asking is infringing on your time, money, and space. You allow people to encroach on your needs, and bend backwards to make sure you keep everyone happy, regardless of whether what they’re asking of you makes you happy.

This is a classic case of needing others to validate your self- image. Firstly, practise saying no! Begin small by refusing to give time to the annoying calls offering you loans. Then, begin with close friends. At first it might surprise people who always took your agreeability for granted, but this also gives you a chance to assess who your true friends are. Question the motive of those who are suddenly being very friendly towards you. This does not mean you should become paranoid and suspicious, but be aware and stop letting others take you for granted.

3. You’re a Wallflower!
If you get immensely stressed by the thought of attending an office party, or meeting a stranger, or having a conversation on the phone with someone you don’t know very well, then you need to work on being less shy. Being extremely shy could also mean you don’t even voice your point of view in a discussion, because it is too strenuous a task for you.

The best thing to do in a case like this is to slowly tackle what you fear most. If your biggest fear is a room full of strangers in a party, go to a sit-down dinner for four where you don’t know anyone, except the host. Begin a conversation with a person who seems the friendliest of the lot to bolster your confidence. Continue maintaining contact with him if you find him interesting and you might end up being friends for life. Start small, and build your confidence as you grow.

4. The Truth is Out There!

No. We’re not talking X-files here, but paranoia. If you’re always worrying about getting fired because your boss didn’t wish you good morning, or think that your friend hates you because he forgot to invite you along for his camping trip, then you are overly paranoid. People like these never see the good side of things and always worry about the next big disaster that’s going to make their lives troublesome.

Remind yourself everyday of the harmful effects of stress. If you don’t know much, read books that not only tell you about it but also tell you how to deal with it. Whenever there is a problem or worry that is taking over your mental peace, immediately determine whether it has any basis. If it does, consider how it can be solved. If it is not in your control, realize that you cannot determine the result, and stop worrying.

While changing yourself isn’t the easiest thing in the world, it certainly helps you to grow as an individual. Don’t expect immediate results. Tell your close friends and family about what you’re trying to do and ask them to remind you each time you slip. The constant check will train your mind to accept the trait as negative. Over time you’ll notice that the negative trait has disappeared. Taking charge of your mental health will make sure that your dream vision of an ideal you is closer.