Console Your Friend After A Break Up
Your friend’s heartbroken, depressed, dejected. In short, he’s inconsolable. It’s now that he needs his friends the most. So what can you do to help him get through this “phase”?
It happens to the best of us, but when it happens to your best buddy, then needless to say, the trauma that he goes through permeates into your life as well. And irrespective of whether the breakup was mutual or he was dropped like a hot potato, your friend is going through one of the toughest periods of his life. He’s heartbroken, depressed, dejected. In short, he’s inconsolable. It’s now that he needs his friends the most. So what can you do to help him get through this “phase”? While the close emotional bonding between women makes it easier for them to recover and move on, there’s no way men can hug each other, listen to love songs, practice voodoo and dig into large tubs of chocolate ice-cream to get over a girl. Face it; we just don’t work that way.
However, we guys too have a few tried and tested ways to mend a broken heart. Our mending methods stretch from getting drunk, pumping the testosterone through team sports to appreciating the female form. With these tools, your friend will soon be fit enough to get back in the game:
Encourage him to erase her existence
Now that there isn’t an iota of doubt that your friend has absolutely no chance of saving the relationship, push him to purge all avenues of communication with his ex. Any numbers he might have stored in his cell, any email and chat ids on his PC should be deleted. If he’s into social networking sites and so was his ex, then get him to remove her from his list of buddies.
Another thing you need to push him to do would be to make him get rid of all those little trinkets of remembrance that might unnecessarily prolong the period of suffering. Though it’s not altogether necessary to put them in a heap and make him piss on his favorite shirt and the mixed song CDs she had gifted him with, they should all be confiscated and kept safely with you till they don’t have much meaning for him.
Right now what he needs is a bottle of his favorite booze. Sober and suffering, he’s bound to argue with you over purging the signs of his ex. Sodden and happier, he will happily allow you to do him the favor. Moreover, the booze will also give him the courage of deleting all her contact details. Remember, this is something that he himself has to do.
Rally The Bros
We don’t do it on purpose. But the ecstasy of being in an exciting relationship and the possibility of a steamy make-out session to conclude every date temporarily makes us neglect our bros. However, now is really not the time to remind him of his broken pact.
Call up his closest buddies and push him to hang out with the group. He is initially going to resist this because, right now, all he wants to do is to sink deeper into his bed and wallow in the sorrow of his failed relationship. So to get this night crawler to see the sunshine, plan extra fun events. If your group activities usually revolve around gulping beer and sharing sexual anecdotes, then shove it down the carpet and plan events like team sports, rock concerts, road trips – anything that would keep him distracted and hopefully …happy. If he is made to feel that he’s still an indispensable part of the gang, then you can bet your Nike’s that the long, painful recovery has been considerably shortened.
Force him to socialize
While hanging out with his buddies is one thing, reintroducing him to society is quite another. One of the most common side-effects of a breakup is that your friend will turn into a bitter hermit. While he doesn’t have to go out clubbing every night of the week, you will have to make him get out of the house and meet other people. And one of the easiest ways of doing this is to get him interested in other women. One of the reasons why breakups tend to become such a hellish experience for us men is because we tend to put all our emotional eggs in one basket.
So it’s absolutely essential for his recovery that he hooks up with a babe as soon as possible. While wannabe Freuds would rather advise that he spend the next six months getting back his emotional equilibrium before starts dating again, we guys know better, don’t we? There’s nothing like a one night stand or a no strings attached exchange of favors when a man’s going through an emotional crisis. Sex is the best energizer of them all. It will help in bolstering his confidence and reassure him that women still find him desirable. Moreover, it will also reinforce the joys of singledom.
Kick him out of his misery
A good friend is one who’s there for his buddy when he’s hurting from inside. However, no matter how good a friend you are, you also have your own life, of which you have spent the last couple of months playing the shrink; your patience has now started to run dry. It’s now time to act tough and pull him back to reality. Tell him to suck it up and be the man he once was. Point out that all the time that he’s wasted in crying over his ex could have been constructively spent in chasing tail and getting laid. He might not take this advice of yours too kindly especially if, till now, you had been acting the part of an indulgent mother, but he will later thank you for it.
Buddy breakups
This period will be tough on you as well. Nobody likes to spend time with a defeated dude, wallowing in misery. If you are hitched, then your buddy might make you feel that you’re dating a potential man crusher. Your life force will be drained which, to a great extent, may cause you to lose faith in the woman in your life. And if your buddy wants to be hugged….
But no matter how much you are forced to suffer, you will still do it because deep in your heart you know that one day he too might need to do the same for you.
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