THE PICK UP  
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Home > Dating & Sexuality > The Pick Up
 
By: The Player
 
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So, you took The Player’s tips and manage to get a girl. Good. Now it’s time for some love (read sex). However, if you thought the Game is over, you’re very wrong my friend - getting your woman to initiate sex is a Game for senior players.

I can safely assume a lot of you have never had ‘great sex’. Only true Players can ever achieve that. Put yourself in The Player’s shoes for a second and imagine what it feels like to be able to say that only you have had great sex. Now I want you to imagine something else. Imagine what it would be like to have sex with a woman who wants it more than you do. Think about that for a second.

This is a rarity for the simple reason, because we want it more. Men love sex in a way women never will, and that's why, always, sooner or later, it's the man practically (or literally) lands up begging for it, even in a relationship. Right? I mean, that's what conventional wisdom has come up with, right? And an opinion thousands of years in the making has to have the truth behind it. We all know that.

Wrong. So wrong. I'm ready to jump through the screen and throttle whoever came up with this brilliant idea. This is one of the greatest fallacies in all of life.


Orgasms: Men vs. Women
Men have one basic kind of orgasm. One.

It can vary in intensity, sure, and sometimes it'll even be stimulated by something other than direct contact, but it's really just variations on a theme. That's just how we're built.

For a woman, the closest thing to our one orgasm is a clitoral one. But here's the thing: women have two or more kinds, arguably three. In addition to the clitoral, they also have the G-spot, the V-spot (deep in the vagina) and the vaginal, if you argue that isn't related.

All those orgasms produce different feelings - feelings that men can imagine, but we can never truly know. And if a woman winds up having two or more kinds of orgasms simultaneously, watch out. During the height of perfect intimacy we can get a vicarious taste of this (practice the art of tantric sex for this) - but 999 out of 1000 male lives will never come close to approaching the levels of feeling that women can get out of sex. We're just not built that way.

Almost makes you jealous, doesn't it? Don't worry, quite a few women never really explore this, and if you can learn how to help a woman along, you'll never be alone again. But that's a topic for another article.

Wait a sec, you think, this is supposed isn't this supposed to be an article about relationships? Why does it only seem to be about sex?

Ah my brothers, this has EVERYTHING to do with relationships. I just wanted to point out, first of all, that men do not have to want sex more than women. They usually don't. Women are simply more subtle, and also more finicky (blame evolution).


Arousal: Men vs. Woman
A woman can't be turned on just like that. I show you a naked picture of angelina jolie, within seconds you could be pounding nails with your tool. Show a woman a naked brad pitt, and you aren't likely to get the same reaction.

While men tend to be visual, women tend to be cognitive. She needs her mind turned on before she gets in the mood.
Trust me, she wants to be in the mood, almost certainly more than you. But just because you get hard at the sight of her nightie, that doesn't mean she's ready.

And here's the problem. Men get aroused so much faster than women that oftentimes they move too quickly. The woman wants sex, but not yet, and the guy is already moving fast into foreplay or, worse penetration.

For the woman, that's just no fun. That's not the lovemaking she wants. If you move too quick she may join in for you, but not for her. And this starts to become a pattern. Pretty soon she's looking at sex as a chore, a way to keep you happy, but all the while she's not being made happy.

This is when those pesky headaches start to appear.

This is when the man starts getting grabby, pawing, begging, putting himself in the position of weakness. Sex becomes less frequent, and more of a bothersome task for her. This leads to the man begging all the more, leading to the woman wanting it less and less, until it basically disappears.

The man becomes distraught, more pathetic in his attempts, and suddenly your abstinent. Or dumped. Or - worst? - cheated on. So how do you keep from letting this happen? It's simple. Maybe hard in practice, but simple in theory.


Attack The Brain Not The Body
Don't paw, don't coyly place her hand on your crotch, don't plead for a little sweetness. Never ever beg. Even if you get it that way - less and less as time goes by - the sex won't be the kind of passionate embrace it should be.

You've got to learn to lean back, especially when you've been in a relationship for awhile. You need to turn her on mentally, and let her show you when she's ready.

Don't worry about her knowing about you. We have a handy flag raised whenever we're in the mood. A woman, though, needs to be turned on more patiently, much more slowly. When she's ready to move up a level, she'll certainly let you know, most likely in a physical way.

If you can give her a little then draw back - tease her a bit - then you'll really start to see something. You want her pawing you. She should be begging you for sex - in a playful way, of course, but nonetheless, you should be the one holding out longer. This will help ensure that she really is in the mood by the time you get down to it - which in turn leads to amazing sex.

Retain the power and the control in the bedroom. Feel free to play around with this. Some of the most explosive sex i've ever had was when i'd built a woman up to great heights, and then pushed her away. A woman can get nearly violent in her passion after something like that, if she's been built up correctly.

This sort of sexual tension works almost all the time. Of course sometimes, for whatever reason, it won't. The key then is:


Suck It Up
Go a night without. Don't pout. Don't ever beg. Don't even cajole. You might get something that moment, but you're damaging your sex life in the long run. You are losing your attractiveness.
Remember, she's the one who is going to be experiencing depths of feeling outside the ordinary experience of men the world over. If she knows that you can provide those feelings and you don't do anything to screw up your sexual appeal, she will come to you.

You know, people do get real headaches sometimes. A lot of bouncing isn't pleasant. Don't plant unpleasant experiences in her head when she thinks of you and sex. You want them all to be great. Now no one can be on all the time, but even if every single experience isn't fantastic, most of them should be, and there should be no negative ones.
And if she is, let her show you. Your job is to get her in the mood. After that, making love to her is something you choose to do for her.

 
So think about your life and think about the times you have been trying to get laid – TRYING to get laid. Listen to the way you are wording it. “I am TRYING to get laid tonight.” If you want to get laid, you need to be cool about it. If you are feeling so horny that the very sight of her cleavage makes you want to rip off her clothes, then snap a load. Jerk off and release the testosterone before you go out on a date or invite her to your place. Do not bring all the sexual energy into the game. The cooler you are, the more suave you are and the more turned on she is going to be by you. By doing this, you start building some incredible chemistry and more often than not, the girl herself will initiate the sex.


More Pickup Articles
Reading Her Mind
Science Of Touching A Woman
Getting Her To Initiate Sex
Types Of Openers
Overcoming The Fear Of Rejection
Curse Of Being The Nice Guy
Eye Contact Secrets
Body Language Secrets

 

 
 
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Bec Monday Aug 18 2008 at 6:31:07 AM
 
THis article is spot on! Awesome. \m/  
   
Style Thursday Jul 17 2008 at 1:25:14 PM
 
Rob.. Whats up man? All pertinent points. True the India you describe is very much alive and kicking but this magazine and this section in particular is not targeting those from the fringes. The social ills that you describe might be a part of the small town mentality but please dont be supercilious to assume that guys and gals living in the metropolitan cities of delhi, Mumbai, Kal and the likes are still living by the age old mores. Things have changed buddy and they have changed big time. So open ur eyes and move on . Piece and Peace  
   
Rob Tuesday Jul 15 2008 at 10:11:36 PM
 
In a society where you are forbidden to date, where you treat rape victims like criminals, use dowry as extortion, and force marriages on people who are not ready, not willing, and not capable of a loving relationship; this article for an Indian magazine is nothing short of Science Fiction. Indians have a long way to go in learning about healthy relationships, and actually getting to practice them. Focusing in sex first is the wrong way to go about it.  
   
preet Friday Jun 20 2008 at 5:12:39 AM
 
Better 2 understand abt lovemaking>>>>>>>  
   
sm1 kool Wednesday Jun 18 2008 at 12:53:47 PM
 
nice article really  
   
Atul Wednesday Jun 18 2008 at 11:42:12 AM
 
Can I practice kino with my mom?  
   
Naveen Thursday Jun 12 2008 at 10:18:28 AM
 
pick up  
   
Sarita Tuesday Jun 10 2008 at 4:55:30 AM
 
Real issues. I never enjoyed sex with my hubby but my boss tried all the tricks and gave me super f***.  
   
freedomformiond Sunday Jun 8 2008 at 4:54:35 AM
 
hmmm Will make the indian men better and women happier... :-) thanks for ur service to mankind  
   
Suresh Tuesday May 27 2008 at 8:18:56 AM
 
Hey player - respect, but how about some in field footage? That would totally rock - I have NEVER seen any in field footage involving girls in India?  
   
arcid Wednesday May 21 2008 at 1:51:43 AM
 
NOW...i believe in life after fuck  
   
Ali Friday May 16 2008 at 1:38:25 AM
 
Desi Love Guru  
   
Abid Thursday May 15 2008 at 10:46:40 PM
 
Nice Article Dude !  
 
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