Whether a serviceman or a businessman, we all come across difficult people in our day-to-day life. In this scenario, at times it becomes difficult to resolve conflicts with such people. However, if you adopt the right attitude, you can master the trick of resolving your conflicts without a heated argument.
At times it becomes near impossible to hold on to your temper. In the face of such extreme provocation, the only thing that really and effectively works is patience. Yes, I can imagine you shaking your heads at that. It might sound like a bit of clichéd gyan, but then it’s a tested method. Give it a shot and see for yourself!
Ways to resolve conflict with patience
Mastering the art of being patient with a person who is an inch away from wanting to commit murder is a tough job. But with these seven Xpert tips, you can get started.
1. Be Calm
Staying calm is the first and foremost way to end a conflict without an argument. Try this out and you will yourself observe how this works!
All you need to do is stay still without uttering a word. Keep mum and let the storm pass. Just remind yourself that you don’t have to get angry even if the other person tries his best to provoke you. Once you are quiet, the other person will also be speechless after a while, realizing it’s futile to argue with you. Moreover, he’ll feel like a fool for ranting on and on while you’ve been patiently listening to him. A very effective way of undermining the basis of his argument.
2. Let the other person talk
A lot of people make the mistake of not listening to the other person. Let the other person say all that he wants to say and soon you will find him getting tired of talking. Apart from this, sometimes it satisfies the other person’s ego, who wants nothing but to be heard. Chances are that he feels that he can cow you down with his arguments and when you give him such a chance by not uttering a word, the conflict gets resolved automatically.
And if it doesn’t you just need to follow our next tip!
3. Consider the other person’s point of view
So you’ve heard him out. Now try and understand the other person’s point of view. Step into his shoes and see what the world looks like from his part of the world.
Find out the reason and logic behind why the other person is arguing with you. Restrict yourself from saying that he is wrong. Not only this, try to find out areas of mutual agreement and then build on them.
4. Don’t disagree totally with the other person
If you disagree with his point of view, break it to him gently. Don’t rubbish his view outright. But be diplomatic and try to put your view across as an extension to his. Use words like, “I can understand what you are saying.”
Agreeing with the opponent will placate his ego while making him feel that you are taking him seriously. More often than not, the other person doesn’t want a conflict either; it’s just that he feels that he is not being heard which results in a conflict. However, if you agree with him and validate some of his points, he too will agree with you on some of your points.
5. Verbal abuse – stay away from it
This is the most common problem of entering into an argument. Promise yourself that you will stay calm and won’t start abusing verbally. Even if you see the other person abusing you, you will try your best to stop it and not to continue with it. Often while abusing, we don’t realize that the situation is getting worse, leaving no scope for a settlement. So, why let this happen? Always leave a room for a settlement by not indulging in verbal abuse. Usually verbal abuse, when volatile enough, leads to fisticuffs. You don’t want to head towards that territory now, do you?
6. Admit when you are wrong
People have a misconception that if you admit that you are wrong, you will have to pay the price for all that has gone wrong! However, this is not so. The one who admits that he is wrong is always appreciated.
It takes courage to admit that you are wrong. Sometimes, to maintain peace, it’s better to pacify the other person by admitting that you are wrong. Now I don’t mean that you have to accept that it’s your fault even when you are not wrong, you can be tactful in this too! Instead of saying that you are wrong, you can also say that other person is absolutely right! Believe me these words are very powerful and you will be surprised to see what happens once you say this to your opponent. He will be polite to you all of a sudden.
Thus, to conclude, remember that there is nothing impossible that you can’t resolve using the power of patience. A little tact about knowing when to keep quiet and the battle is all yours! You might have to lose a few battles but you need to lose a few battles to win the war. The choice is yours. What do you want to win– the battle or the war?
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