Reader’s question:

Hey Doc,
Thanks for all the great advice, you rock! I, on the other hand, not so much. I keep wondering what is about the other average dudes around me with all these beautiful women. I know some personally, they are neither especially good looking, rich or otherwise. What is it about them that girls like so much?

Dr. Angela’s reply:
So, you want to learn how to become an alpha male? Good move. Alpha males are extremely attractive to women. Being an alpha male is essential if your aim is to attract as many women as possible, so you can get to choose among them.

What’s an Alpha Male?

There seems to be a delusion that an Alpha Male is a man who is full of himself and his machismo. That would be what is commonly referred to as an egomaniacal jerk. The Alpha Male on the contrary, is natural leader who's respected and admired by his peers. He doesn't have to bully and dominate people to gain their respect but the natural charisma he oozes just makes him stand apart from the crowd. While all other guys are waiting to be liked and picked by woman, this guy, is a chick magnet and girls are helplessly drawn to him wherever he goes.

Why women are attracted to the alpha male

Women are naturally drawn to those males who possess high amounts of strength, confidence and power. They seek the challenge and the primal knowledge of being with men who are stronger and more powerful than they are. A woman simply cannot be with a man whom she deems to be weaker than her. Although, this does not mean we look down upon non-Alpha males. We just recognize that such a match would not work long-term for most of us.

The laws of attraction are different for both men and women. While men are drawn towards a woman’s physical beauty, for women it’s the overall persona of a man that entices them. An alpha man is different from the crowd; you can spot him even in a group. He is the ideal man any woman would want to be with. He is confident and secure about himself, is not afraid to take the lead and gets what he wants out of life.

For any woman, the best way she will be truly attracted to you and would like being with you if and when she believes that she has earned you. Ironical as it may sound but it’s a fact that this creates a ‘crave- factor’ for you! All you need is a mindset of self-value and never portray any neediness in front of a girl, in order to get her hooked on to you.

The right attitude is all that matters

1. Keep it Casual. Keep this plain and simple fact in your mind- never show any sort of attachment to any girl, especially during the initial phase of dating. Take her and the relationship in a casual manner. Women cannot stand a wimp and clingy men. Getting a woman to date with you should never be a challenge for you - rather getting close to you should be a challenge for her.

2. Indifference to whichever direction the attraction is going. Don’t overrate the girl by giving her too much of importance to whether she ends up dating you or not. If she does go out with you- awesome!!! If not, don’t be disheartened, there’s a swarm of hotter chicks out there dying to be with you.

3. Work hard-Party Harder. In addition to working hard and climbing the ladder of corporate success; it’s also important that you socialize a lot. Hit the club on weekends; go out for drinks after work with friends and plan your weekend getaways. Preferably have lots of girl-friends (women are easy to befriend if you have such traits). Also date as many women as you can... don't restrict yourself only to dating "that one special girl."

4. Never Be Vulnerable. You might feel like “God, I must have this girl!” but never let the neediness show on your face or in your behavior when you are with her. Appreciate her being with you just the way you’d appreciate any acquaintance. Never let the neediness creep into your disposal. She will easily judge this and can even take undue advantage! And that’s why having an abundance of women in your life will solve that problem.

5. The ‘social proof’. Women are like honey-bees. They get attracted to a man who is universally appealing to most women. This is some kind of a “social proof” that the guy is a hottie and many chicks have their eyes set on him. She takes it as a challenge to get you and so she’s the one who’ll be making most of the efforts to ensure that she get to be seen around with you. You can sit back and relax! For example: Ever noticed how your female friends drool over the guy at the corner of the bar who's got four babes at his table? That's social proof in action.

Now, let me clarify that I am not endorsing or promoting jerkish, insensitive behavior. Just play your cards right. The Alpha male is confident about himself but that doesn’t mean that he’s some emotionless being. It's fine to think a girl is beautiful and also appreciate her beauty. So is to feel deeply for her. Here's the key though... you must always remind yourself that there are LOTS of other women out there who are just as wonderful as that girl you really like. If you start thinking that any girl is one of a kind, you automatically surrender your power which, ironically in her eyes, makes you a less attractive catch.

So, you're free to think that a woman's amazing. Just remember that lots of other girls are amazing too. That way you would never come across as needy. Raise you self worth in your eyes, make her earn your attention, and hang out with as many women as possible...